I've just been neglecting a lot apparently.

On Wednesday October 29th, I was hit by a car. Luckily they were going slow and I was able to move mostly out of the way. The car still got me. I have a fractured tibia. Luckily that's all I have for injuries.

I don't plan to sue unless I have to do so to get my medical bills and lost pay covered. I just want what's fair. I guess you can say I'm un-Californian like. I'm not money hungry.

I'm out of work until the docs clear me. I have been doing what they want me to do. When I wear the brace, I'm supposed to try and "walk". I do, and it hurts like hell and I can only move a couple inches at a time but dammit I want this to heal and I want to go back to normal.

I'm losing my mind here. I can't sleep well 'cause I can feel the pain in my sleep even though I'm in a Vicodin induced coma at night. I just want to be able to do things on my own and I can't. I need to rely on others and I hate that.

One moment I'm walking to work, happy as can be. Next moment, it's all gone. I can't walk without help. I couldn't even use the bathroom with the door closed 'cause the half cast the ER put on me wouldn't let me maneuver around anything.

The insurance company called me today. Apparently the driver did give them a copy of the police report. I just got my copy yesterday so there wasn't time for me to send it. I just hope I get what's fair in this. I really don't want the driver to get into any more trouble with the law than she already is because of this accident. I wish her nothing but the best.

I wish I had my sanity.

I'll just wing it... *sigh*

Today is the absolute last day to catch this... unless ya wanna pay for it on itunes... which I won't 'cause I'm anti i-anything... it implies being about yerself, an individual... and yet LIKE EVERY-FUCKING-BODY ELSE!!!! no... not for me... thank you...

CATCH DR. HORRIBLE!!!! IT'S GREAT!!!!!!

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

I got a shit load of pics to load on my myspace... Reunion was tonight and it was a fuckin blast!!! I'm drunk so I'm goin to bed... NIGHT!

I arrived in MA, approx 7pm EST last night. I was supposed to get here around 5pm but noooooooo... we had to wait in Chicago for a pilot who was hitching a ride to Boston so he could fly to Paris... we had an hour long delay waiting for him... grrr... I busted my ass to get from one terminal to the other so I would be on time for the flight, seeing as how they scheduled it for only 20 minutes from arriving at one gate and boarding for the other.... GAH!!! I get to my connection, and it's already delayed half an hour... fuckers... so I basically flew to Chicago to drink... of course it was RUM!!! arrrr matey! Anyways, we had to circle Boston a few times and all I was thinking was "LAND THE FUCKIN PLANE ALREADY!!!!" So not only were we late an hour taking off, but half an hour on top of that circling Boston... then I get down to baggage claim and had another 10-15 minute wait until they would start giving us back our shit... I had gone almost 12 hours with out a smoke, I had a few drinks in me, and I was PISSED. I'm still in shock that I'm back in Massataxes but it feels right... no I'm not moving here... SO THERE! Looks like the plan for the day is do the tourist shit in Boston. Yeah. . . and BEER!!!! ok, so Fawnzie on vacation = a lush.

Haven't posted or visited here in a long ass time... kinda lost interest but the other day I was thinking about lj... then when I got home, I forgot... again... *sigh* I'm looking forward to the trip to MA, but it's less than 2 weeks away and I feel like I don't wanna go... but I wanna go... GAH!

I'm going on the 18th. Yesterday I went to quite a few places to find a dress and absolutely no damn luck. So I ended up over at Metro Point, and at David's Bridal. I tried on a few dresses and apparently I've lost enough weight to go down a dress size. WOOT!!! So, this is the dress I ended up with, and yes it's the same color too. Sad thing is the model really doesn't do any justice to the dress and yet the mannequin in the window of the store did! When I tried on this dress, I fell in love!!!



Anyways, there is no alterations needed so I'm happy!

Regarding the Afterlife Recordings - from the new Simon R. Green book, The Unnatural Inquirer

1. There was a new rebel angel in Heaven, rebelling against the long silence of millennia to finally broadcast the truth about Humanity. Why we were created, what our true purpose is, and why we are born to suffer.

2. It was a transmission from Hell, saying that God is dead and they can prove it. Satan runs our world, tormenting us for his pleasure. Which would explain a lot.

3. An exact date for the final war between Heaven and Hell. Broadcast it now because... it's all about to kick off.

4. There is a Heaven, but it's only for the innocent animals. People just die.

5. There is a Heaven, but no Hell.

6. There is a Hell, but no Heaven.

7. It's all bullshit.

So, yesterday my tax refund came in... which means I got to book my flights to Boston. Yes I mean flights. I know that with layovers, you tend to save some money so I got layovers. On my way there, I get to stop in Chicago. On my way back I get to stop in Dallas. Been to Dallas before, it's ok I guess. I tried to choose my seats and they are either 13a or 13f except for one of the legs... 13 was blocked by wings, and I hate that so I went with the multiple of 13 and chose 26f. I'm a dork I know it, who else really picks their seats on a plane based on numbers?!

I'm just happy!!!!

So, I have a place to stay for the week and a ride from the airport, which may include a ride back to the airport when it's time to come back to LA LA Land... WOOT!

The other night, I dreamt, and what a doozy it was! I dreamt that I was working for Cher, and she was filming her new talk show (which was true in my dream). I did the intro for her and when she came out, it's like my view of everything widened, and I realized, there was no audience. She looked hurt but continued on anyways. She introduced Valerie Bertinelli, then continued to interview her. Next thing I know, there's an audience and Clay Aiken is there, heckling Cher. I walked over to him and proceeded to bitch slap him numerous times. He was crying, but it wasn't a crying sound, it was my damned alarm, and that was the end of the dream. Weird. So it makes me think, What the hell am I eating before I go to sleep!?!?

Yesterday, I went shopping. I hate shopping and yet I did it. I bought flowers, yes I even cut and arranged them. I also bought more candy molds, as well as supplies to make candies. I even bought a cross-stitch kit and have half of it done but it's for my niece so it's ok. Friday, I wore no black, and suggested a chick movie while having a girls night out with Twinkie and Heather. That was fun! So I guess the question is, what the hell happened to me? I don't know but dammit, it's ok. We all need a change sometime and I'm just being who I am. I used to do stuff like this when I was a teenager and I guess I just miss not being such a hard ass.

It actually surprised me when Twinkie told me on Friday that she was initially intimidated by me when we first met. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do put up a front when I first meet people. It's like a self defense mechanism. I've had to much negative things happen to me in my 28 years of life. It seems like my subconscious is trying to protect me from things happening again. I don't know.

Anyways, today I have a choice of laundry to get together in Costa Mesa before work again. Just gotta remember not to eat at Wendy's again.

Young Hearts Run Free - Kym Mazelle

What's the sense in sharing this one and only life
Ending up, just another lost and lonely wife
You count up the years, and they will be filled with tears, oooh
Love only breaks up, to start over again
You'll get the babies, but you won't have your man
While he is busy loving every woman that he can, huh huh

Say I wanna leave a thousand times a day
It's easier said that done, when I just can't break away
Just can't break away

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Hmmm, my man and me
Young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
I said I don't love you

It's high time, just one crack at life
Who we want to live in, trouble and strife
My mind must be free, to learn all I can about me
I'm gonna love me for the rest of my days
Caress the babies every time they say
Self reservation is what's really going on today, oooh

Say I wanna leave a thousand times a day
How can I turn loose
When you just can't break away (just can't break away)

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Oooh, my man and me
Whoa, young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
I said I don't love you, hmmm

Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa

Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa

Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa

Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Whoa, my man and me
Whoa, young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
No, yeah aaah aaah aaah

Young hearts, run free...

I sing just about everyday. I do it sometimes without being aware of it.

why? why not? Don't ya hate it when you're tired but you can't sleep 'cause you slept to much the day before? I DO!! Oh well... I'm listening to Jack again online... why? 'cause KROQ doesn't stream their station apparently. Fuckers.

Adam Ant - Strip

Its at times like these the great heaven knows
That we wish we had not so many clothes
So lets loosen up with a playful tease
Like all lovers did through the centuries

Were just following ancient history
If I strip for you will you strip for me?
Were just following ancient history
If I strip for you will you strip for me?
Uh-huh-huh

When it gets so hot the end of the day
You may find your clothes getting in the way
If a pretty dress hides your true desire
Fold it nice and slow, throw it on the fire

We don't need to see what the butler saw
Or a mirrored room with a mirrored floor
All those sneaky looks gazing down on you
Are no substitute for our rendezvous

If you think its cheap or a bit risque
Please don't say a word Ill just slip away
I am not a man who believes in lies
Like an octopus with big x-ray eyes

Don't freeze up girl, you're looking quite a sight
Be generous, I want it all tonight

I sooo shouldn't be typing anything right now but who cares?! Just got home from a GREAT NIGHT OUT!!! with John, Kristen, Kate and Jenn... and a few others that I just me tonight!!! I'm going to bed... pics will be up later this week on my myspace page!































*giggles* I'm leaning like a cholo in my chair!